SOOOOO SOOORRRYYYYY! 0_0

OKAY OKAY OKAY! I am very sorry. 

I AM HURT BY YOU!

HATING YOU WOULD BE THE BEST MEDICINE NOW! I will never forget what you did to me. You left me when I was in need of a friend. So, there I am walking around the school with nobody. Going around like walking corpse. I HATE YOU. But the fact that you act like I was never in your life hurt so much. I HATE YOU. Seriously. I DISLIKE that. You never say you are sorry for what happened. Everyday in that cell. I feel like a nobody. NOBODY! You made me feel that way. I am living with strangers. I know we are supposed to feel that the world is all about you, yourself. But in that cell I feel like I am in your world. You control me, my life. I am not me. I AM NOT ME IN THAT CELL. How are you supposed to know me better. Now, I am a different person. I am nobody. NO MORE FANTASY. I am a FREAK. I feel so tiny. Everything I do in that cell is just so wrong. How can I survive?

***Oh I am very sorry. I created this blog to tell nice things. FANTASY. But, I can't have that fantasy for the time being. Pray for me. Pray that I'll have that fantasy the soonest. I can't stand. This blog was supposed to be an inspirational (kind of) blog. About me talking in achieving my dreams.

But I don't feel me.

Lucky Freako

Blehhh...

Okay. I don't know what to do. I want to write. I do. I do. Ideas flying in my head, waiting for my hand to write it down. I don't know how to say this. I do write it down, but the feeling that it can be written in a real beautiful and understanding sentence just kept bothering. Heh. I really need a strong, very strong will to do it. There are just lots of X in my writing book. Hmm. I don't want, really don't want to be the kind of person who makes another new work without finishing the old work. Yes. Some people say you need to distract yourself for a while in order to get yourself to go on. The first unfinished story I wrote was My Lost Piano Guy. Apparently, the Piano Guy is still lost up till now. URGH! I just felt so stress out, I took the risk of writing a new story. Let the Piano Guy not be found, lost without a clue. Rise another unfinished story titled, Mama Finds Men for Me. Feeling that I didn't and still don't understand the true story. So, just like that I left Mama's daughter without a man of her life up till now. This is HORRIBLE. Even worst, when you actually put into this words. Wow. I have made a lot of damages. Okay, I am exaggerating. Heheh. Typical moi. Sorry. Anyway, the last unfinished story (I successfully stopped myself for making any other unfinished story. Hooray!), I named it Under The Rain. This one I literally wrote it. The Lost Piano Guy and Mama Finds Men for Me, I typed them in Microsoft Word 2007. And yeahh. Err. Serve me for being such stupidly secretive. I forgot the password for The Lost Piano Guy. Hehe. Lesson learned. I didn't put any password for Mama Finds Men for Me. Oh well. Any how, now, I have to find my own will to finish all stories. Haih. Okay! I CAN DO IT! YES YES YES! Err... Toodlessss... Yeahh. Sorry. 

P/S : I wrote this somewhere in 2012.But I didn't realise that I didn't publish it. OH LOL. 

A come back post. HAHA!

Oh my. When I read back all the posts I posted. Oh wow. So cheesy. Eeeee. Hahaha. What was I thinking? Oh well, all that has made me what I am today. HAHA. Poyo. Okay. How long did I leave this blog into 'semak'? Eh what? A years already eh? Whoahh! Congrats to me! -.-'' Oh well. I AM HERE NOW. But not so often though. Heeee. Talking like I have lots of readers eh. It's okay to 'perasan'. No crime in that. Is there? HAHA. Anyway, hey thereeeeee! :D By the way, I am lazy to update anything ehh. Why most of my sentence ends with 'eh'? Since when did this happen weyhhhh? Hmmm. Arrrr. Okayyyy. TTFN!

RAWRR GRRR ARRRR (dontknowwhattosay)

I don't know what to say. :) EEEEE.... I wish I could go back where the time we were all at MJSC Transkrian... The journey going there. The times where all of us felt quite relax.. NO RULES baby! :P I NEED TO STRUGGLE FOR THE FINAL SEM 2. Hahahahahahaha! I AM CRAZY. I know.. I know. I didn't really win. But still.. Being at Transkrian. FUN. Didn't really have to worry much about study. Everything going smooth. Except the presentation. That was su ck ish... Hehe. OK OK. STUDY. STUDY. STUDY. EXAM ORIENTED!!! :) No...

The person who need to STUDY,

Lucky Freako

Homesick...

Homesick? Yeah. I can't ran away from it. Haih. Well, actually I don't know. What I know is... I don't have much appetite to eat. For two days, maybe three, I didn't eat any rice. Did I cry? Well yes! Haha. The minute Mama said 'Okay. I' ll be going now', my eyes started to burst into tears. But, as I, (the owner of this blog) pseudonym; Lucky Freako @Miss Fantasy , I am and everyone also knows that I am a very BRAVE and a 'DON'T CARE-DON'T CARE' (what kind of term is this girl using?? :P) person, I forced myself not to. My Mama and Mamatok Hugged me. I couldn't watched them leaving me. So, I closed the door as soon as I saw them walked away. Even though, they were not yet outside the hostel.

I also know that I should have walked them out from the hostel and watched them get into the Toyota Innova while waving at them. As for that, I distracted myself by introducing myself to my roommates. My roommates seems very nice and kind. Okay, they are very nice. I think this would be a good start to a new lovely friendship. I think we can be best roommates? Is that the correct term? Oh whatever! I am sure you know what I am trying to say. :)

There are a lot of time I cried. Well basically it wasn't crying. More like tears in my eyes. There was once when I'm all alone at the dining hall (DS- Dewan Selera), my mind started thinking of my home sweet home. Haha. Funny thing I tried to cover it up with me yawning, looking lik I am seriously (seriously!) exhausted. Not enough sleep. A senior, Kak Aina (if I'm not wrong), she asked me if I'm okay. She looked very concerned. I told her that I'm okay, just feeling very sleepy. Almost every night, well not everytnight, just the first four night I cried. Thinking how could Mama have sent me to such a place. She knows what kind of person I am. I seriously (seriously!) hate when I have to exactly arrange my time. I know that boarding school already arrange it for you. But, still I do not like it. Haih. Have to get use to this...

Saturday was the worst for me. I saw a lot of cars which were almost the same as mine. I saw quite a lot of Innovas and Wajas. But I know. I didn't put too much hope. Cause I, myself know that there is just NO WAY (NO WAY!) that my family would come here and visit me. To come to Pontian, it takes about 4-5 hours. Pontian. Pontian. Haih. The reasons are:

i) I know my Papa. He wouldn't waste his time, fuel and money.

ii) I took (accidentally, okay! :3) the visitor card. Heheh.

iii) Why would they even want to come here? What is the specialty in Pontian??

After waiting at the 'wakaf', on the way to Aspuri... I cried. Seriously crying. I don't care what everyone is thinking. Everyone was looking at me. I seriously burst into tears. Nonstop. Haha. For every minute right now, I am trying to find the reasons I cried. Feeling stupid. Aaaa---! I can't help myself.

Okay. Lets not talk all of this sadness. Lets talk guys. Heee! Heheh! :B I like to see the Communication Ex-co in his suit. Plus with his glasses. So geeky. Not that I want to find a guy with glasses. But, couldn't help it. The glasses made him looked like a genius guy. :)

Right now... I am in a dilemma whether to stay here or move to MJSC Pengkalan Chepa whoch is more near to Mamatok.

**********I know. I know. Seems weird this entry right? Sorry for the lateness. Not that I am busy or what. But I am just not ready to write back. Need to fix myself. :) I wrote this somewhere in February the first two weeks, maybe, I'm in MAJUSCOP. Sorry again.

Sincerely,

Lucky Freako

My Praises to ALLAH

Sorry. I haven't post anything since last year. Haha. That is sure a long time. Miss me? Awwh. :D Busy? Yeah. Quite. With? Of course, PMR! What did I get? Nehh. No need to know. Not much. Alhamdulillah. I got straight As. Woohoo! I took 8 subjects. Bahasa Melayu A! English A! Mathematics A! Science A! Pendidikan Islam A! Geography A! History A! KHB? A! Shocking. Yes. Very. Oh yes. This is the first time I got A in KHB (Kemahiran Hidup Bersepadu). Happy? Very! Proud? Err... Well, to tell you the truth. I thought I did really really bad in PMR. Alhamdulillah. I can't stop saying thanks to Allah. And for the first time, my mum actually cried because of too happy about me. She did cry when she found out that my brother got 5As in his UPSR. That tears was for my brother. This one is for me. Only me. :)

Offers? Hmm... Let me see. I did ask for SBP. Sadly, I did not get. I also did apply for MRSM. And yes! Alhamdulillah. I got. Thank you Allah! Where? Well... That is the problem. I applied for MRSM in Pengkalan Chepa. Where is that? Oh my. It's in Kelantan of course. :D Yes. MAMATOK! Where did I get? In Johor. :( Away from EVERYTHING. Yes. EVERYTHING. My family. My MAMATOK. My friends. My boyfriend. *ehem ehem* :) No! I don't have (yet! :P). Bascically, just EVERYTHING. Oh right. I didn't say the specific place yet. Ah. No need to tell. i am just going to let your mind squeezing for answers. ^^, Alright! Okay Okay! It is in... *Jeng Jeng Jeng* PONTIAN!!!

Do I want to go or not? Do I have any choice? No! My mum said I have to. So. Yes. I am going. When? 7 Febuary 2011.

::Miss Fantasy:: :)